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Eggs and Endorphins

Filk: Grew It Myself

5/28/08 02:31 am - Filk: Grew It Myself

This is far from new (in fact, it's 5 years old), but I just added a final chorus, plus I wasn't posting songs on LJ when I wrote it, so I figure it's about time to post it here.

If it matters (or even if it doesn't), this song is All Jordan's Fault. At Conjose, in 2002, at the tail end of a monster song (one of Gary McGath, probably, but it's not like I remember), he quipped "you can build a monster from things you find at home". Naturally, my brain latched onto this like a Lenore onto a Raven, and I spent the rest of the con, in my free time (which wasn't that much; I think this was Sunday night) worrying at the chorus. Did you know that patter songs were hard?

A fannish year later, at the 2003 Worldcon in Toronto, I still hadn't finished the damned chorus. But the fact is, cons are easily my best time for working on filksongs, so that and the fact that it dawned on me that it had had been a Whole Year and I'd still not finished meant that I'd completed and debuted the song by the end of the con, patter-song chorus and all.


("You can click on this cut tag with a mouse you have at home!")

"Grew it myself"(aka "You can build a monster")

By Joshua Kronengold
to the tune of "Do it Yourself" By Bill Sutton (which is itself loosely to the tune of Macnamara's Band)




I tried to buy a monster, but they told me I was mad,
That outside of late night movies there ain't monsters to be had.
So I'll show them all, destroy them with a creature of my own,
For you can build a monster from the things you find at home.

Oh, ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax,
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they wouldn't want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home.

Now, a monster is an animal that's grown to giant size
Godzilla's just a lizard,
I don't know how Mothra flies.
So I'll start with a small creature
stripped of collars, fleas and bows,
And my Fluffy soon will pounce apon the cities of my foes.


Oh, ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax,
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they wouldn't want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home.


Now then, I'll need a chemical, to make my monster grow.
I thought of fertilizer, but I think it's just too slow,
So I answered all the spam I got for just a couple hours
And with all the growth techniques they sent, I'll see my creature towers.


Oh, ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax,
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't know all the facts.
They make big scary movies, but they wouldn't want it known,
That you can make a monster from the things you find at home.

Well, I grew my giant monster, but he's not quite what I planned
He rarely eats up buildings, he likes lying in the sand.
He's the laziest of creatures, prefers orchards for a meal,
But I'm satisfied 'cause Mirimax just offered me a deal

Oh, ILM and Sony, Disney, Pixar, Mirimax,
Dreamworks, Hammer, Universal, don't show all the facts.
They charge fifteen bucks a ticket, but they never want it known,
That their brand new movie monster was a thing I made at home!


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