Joshua Kronengold (mneme) wrote,
Joshua Kronengold

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Indy vs Bond

Adam Stewart is running a fictional tournament in his Facebook, where the current round is Indy vs Bond. For understandable reasons, Indy's been getting the worst of it.

Which I think is utterly wrong, but I could hardly sway opinion by just stating it. So instead, I wrote the way I think this would go down.

Despite Bond being a badass heartless combatant, and Indy being a two-fisted archeologist who is -not- a trained assassin, I have to go with Indy here at a walk. It comes down to what kind of story it is. Sure, yeah, Indy would be out of his depth in Bond's world of high stakes gadgets and assassination, but Indy would never be -in- that story.

Instead, it makes much more sense that Bond and Indy have clashed over an artifact which Indy wants for its historical importance, while Bond has been ordered to retrieve it for the British government to use in the Cold War. Naturally, Bond at first gets the upper hand.

"Bond, don't do this," Indy says, hanging precariously off the edge of a cliff. "That belongs in a museum."

"And so it will be," 007 replies, "or at least a copy will be. This is an immense power source, and would be deadly in the wrong hands. You've been a great help; I'm sorry it has to end this way, but I can't have you telling tales." Bond stomps down and breaks the branch Indy is holding on to.

"No, you idiot, you don't understand!" Indy says, but then he's gone.

"Now that that's settled, time to see why this is so important." *The artifact eats him*

Indy pulls himself up from the cliffside where he is fortitously still clinging. "I kept trying to tell him, but he woudln't listen. The artifact was still alive! But I think I can decode a key to keeping it safe for at least a little while if I can just remember ancient Sumerian."

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